Protected: Milestones   2 comments

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


Posted November 14, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Protected: Conversations on a rainy Wednesday   1 comment

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Posted November 6, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Little suck-up   1 comment

Sally broke her Jenga box, which Darren promptly fixed with some duct tape. And then Sally promptly batted her eyelashes and said, “My hero saved the day! My daddy is a fixing hero.” And then I promptly barfed.

Posted November 4, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Little helper   1 comment

Poor kiddo has been sick all weekend, hacking cough and general weariness. But after a day of sitting inside, watching more PBS Kids than I should probably admit to, sally woke up this morning raring to go. Still coughing, nose still running, but in a much better mood. And since it is sunny, she is helping with yard work. Not just “helping,” but actually helping! 




Posted November 3, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Protected: Still here   3 comments

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Posted October 31, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Diabetes update   1 comment

Went to my endocrinologist last week, and got a bit of a wake up call. For starters, I have gained weight, which isn’t the best thing. Understandable, considering the ways that my life has changed this year, but … not great. And my A1C has gone up again. Incrementally, and I am not anywhere close to the danger zone, but it just keeps going up and up by tiny amounts, not going down or even staying the same, which would be ideal. I know that a lot of this is that I am more comfortable with diabetes and therefore lazier — I don’t have the new convert’s zeal that I had 3 years ago, and honestly, it’s HARD to sustain that kind of effort. I don’t have thousands of steps just built into my daily routine the way that I used to. I have been lazy, comfortable, more willing to risk eating things that I wouldn’t  previously have eaten — and in a lot of ways, this has been good. (Custard! Oh, how I love it — thank you, Wisconsin, for introducing me to this amazing thing.) And if 10 pounds is the price of staying at home with my kid (through a long-ass winter and cold, rainy spring), then I consider it a bargain. But, in some key ways, this somewhat apathetic approach to diabetes management has obviously not been the best one. At the advice of the doctor, I am charting my eating/dosing/metering again — and it is very, very unfun.

BUT — something interesting has come to light. Coffee seems to be a major problem. I had some suspicions that it might be spiking my blood sugar, but it didn’t really make any sense — for the most part, I drink it black and there are no calories or carbs in a cup of coffee. I asked the nurse practitioner about this, and she agreed that it shouldn’t be happening, but that she has patients that swear coffee has adverse affects on blood sugar. And … I drink a LOT of coffee, throughout the day, not just in the morning. I have been playing around with this for several days — having coffee with a no-carb breakfast, giving myself no insulin (because no carbs), metering a couple of hours later, and sure enough … it’s the coffee. I might as well have had a plate of pancakes.

So just dose for the coffee, right? Unfortunately, that isn’t a really good option, because there is a relationship between insulin and weight gain, so my willy-nilly, use-lots-of-insulin-and-eat-what-I-want approach could definitely be part of what has led to the weight gain.  The better option, for me, right now, is to give up coffee. Which is kind of like giving up breathing air. I love coffee so much. I am also realizing that I am quite addicted to the caffeine, and have been REAL surly and headachey for the last several days. Decaf is kind of working, but it just isn’t the same. And I know once I get through the first week or two or three, it will be OK, but right now, this is really hard. On the up side, my glucose numbers have taken a dramatic drop just from giving up coffee, so it’s nice to feel like this is working.  I wish that there were rehab centers for coffee detox — so that at least I could go be bitchy under medical supervision, instead of just taking it out on my undeserving husband and child. (Although, a certain little girl decided to spend half the night chatting and wiggling around in my bed, so this morning, at least, she is not entirely undeserving….)

I think the hardest part of this all, though, is mental. I am feeling a lot sorry for myself that I have to give up caffeine — and I absolutely understand that compared to 99% of the people in the world, I have a really great life, charmed even. I am blessed beyond belief, and I know that not being able to drink unlimited amounts of coffee is hardly a tragedy. Even in managing diabetes, I am lucky — I have easy access to drugs, and good, knowledgeable doctors. It is expensive, yes, but I am lucky that we have the money to pay for my care. (Less money to go out to dinner because of it, but … going out to dinner isn’t great for diabetes management anyways!)  Things could be so, so, so, so much worse. But, the small, selfish part of me is ANGRY about this. Even when being lazy about it, I still have to THINK about every single thing I put in my body and how much insulin to take and what this will do to me. Doing math every time you eat gets to be exhausting, and the thought of doing this for the next 50 years is overwhelming. Coffee was the one “treat” that I didn’t have to worry about or think about. Except that now, apparently, I do, and it pisses me off. It’s just coffee, I get it, but I’m not happy about it.

(Thank you for letting me rant for a bit. It helps, it really does. And it’s nice to just vomit on a computer screen so that I don’t have to do it to you in person. When I see you in person, we can talk about more interesting things. Like how I just heard Matthew McConaughey on Fresh Air and the guy is a lot, lot smarter than I thought he was. I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store so I could finish out the interview, which is not something I ever, ever thought I would say about Mr. McConaughey.)


Posted April 25, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized

Protected: Rainy days   Leave a comment

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Posted April 9, 2013 by Rachel in Uncategorized